DON'T STOP

Can it be seven whole years since the last time I wrote in this, my first blog, the blog that showed me the way, that united me with friends all over the world when I didn't have a damned thing to say. I was almost fresh out of college then, never having had a lover or finished a novel or gone to graduate school, having tasted pain, but not like the pain I would taste.  And now, here I am a bit away from forty hoping someone will read me, and I will have something to say again, hoping to develop the links I lost.

I come back looking for so many people. Some of you I've found but the post stop years ago. In this life it is one thing after another, and there are people who have walked beside me marching on. I hope they didn't stop. I hope that just because your blog stopped, you didn't stop writing. I hope that because things weren't easy or downright difficult that you kept on. Please, please don't stop.

Tonight I am calling to you. I am hoping, praying, weaving a spell really, that somehow you dear ones I have lost will know i am back again and we will keep up in this work of writing.

I guess after I came out or came into my queer life, I was so quick to have it and so in need to turn inward and find myself, that my blog post went from being queerer and queerer to flat out weird, and then I looked, and the links to all those I had been linked to were gone, my blog little more than a private and slightly mad journal. There is a whole other blog, perhaps appealing to some, where I had a tribute page with pictures, to all the men I had slept with, or as many as had their pictures up. What in the world?

Ah, but what in the world is this, as a queer person I was developing a queer ethic and that ethic will be for a queer and select audience. I imagine that page will stay up. i imagine some things will find their way onto both pages.

Writers, all artists, are looking for friends, and we are looking for them in unusual places. We are banking on finding them in books and in graves, in letters long ago written and ghosts who gather at our altars, all over the world. I hope that if you are reading you will come with me and be my friend on this adventure.