Like it, love it, own it

From an e-mail written to Anne Niemiec on the death of Joannes Paulus Secundus Pontifex Romae


I make peace with Catholicism just in time for the pope to die.

I admit that I actually never liked him. He did some decent things and stood up for justice in other people's countries but he centralized the running of the Catholic church and then controlled things like a fascist. He saw the world in black and white and never even considered ordination or married priests or women. His policies toward gays and reproductive rights were complete barbaric.

I'm having a hard time missing him, Annie.

And yet, I'm still touched by how he died. He did his best according to what he felt was God's will, and whatever he did, however much I disliked him, I also respected him, and I honor him at his death. Or maybe I'm just being magniminous because he is dead, and we're getting a new pope. I was born when Paul VI was still pope, so this is my third pope, but he's the only one I was conscious of. You and Megan and lots of other folks... Kevin and Danielle... he's the only pope you've ever know. No one had a sense of history so I bet everyong thinks of the way he does things, his Catholcism as THE CATHOLICISM. I never liked it. I'm glad it's over.

I meant to write in response to what you wrote me, but here I am rambling about this church, the one that I am a part of. I was thinking, Annie: you can love something without liking it. Without admiring it. I wondered if that was the way I felt about the Catholic Church, and America. But that's not it. I think maybe there's something even past love. Like the knowledge that you belong to something regardless if you feel love for it or not. I belong to this big, ridiculous church. I belong to and love the Anglican church. Maybe one day I will love the Catholic Church, but for now it's enough not to hate it.

-- ME