dedicated to Jackie Nelson...

you know who you are...


with him you’ll always wonder how real love might have been
but with me--
here’s the downer

you’ll never walk straight again

Don’t you know how filled with love i am for you? if i didn’t love you so purely,
like pure sulphur or unmixed radium, good whole uranium
i wouldn’t want to fuck you so badly
i wouldn’t need to fuck you until i was at the core of you, until over you and around
you all there was would be me and you would ever see me as the secret high priest
telling you eat my body and you will live forever, drink and drink and you won’t die
i’d never want us to exhaust ourselves in each other and on the bed and on the table
and in the shower,
in the car for an hour,
in deep private and in public
and i would not falter
to think of us behind the church altar

love,
this is how i love
there are no doves or angels singing

but demons howling as you take me, rake me with your press on fingernails on my back and
drum my ass until we pass
out.
Turn the light out
don’t you see i’m still an innocent man? innocent of shame,
pure enough to make you scream my name
to fuck you over and over again.

with him you’ll walk with your head up high
with him you’ll walk with your nose in the sky
you’ll never know passion or truth with him

but with me you’ll never walk straight again.