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I need a retreat !

My church is having a mini one on Saturday, but I mean a real one where it's just me, the inner turmoil which needs to be explored, and the Almighty. A series of days separated from the rest of the world where I come back as something a little spiritually skinnier, and slightly more fragile, but able to deal with the world in a new and necessary way.

A bit of a retreat comes in skipping around the net looking at some favorites sites. In the past few days some of the sites I've been to are fat with their own self love and approval, full of nastiness and hatred, bashings of all sorts.

I haven't seen Dean in a three weeks now. If it gets to be a fourth I'll have to find a way to check on him without seeming nosey. In the last few days I've heard so much nastiness about gay people, and it is nastiness, I wonder, what is it like when it's you? People always speak of "them" as a moral issue or a political issue. But when you're the issue. Some of things I hear, and by people who think of themselves as known what is right, what God wants, makes me more than shudder. It's part of the crap I need to wash from me. And then I was always too sentimental. I'll be the first to admit that. But when I think of a boy who never got up and chose to be a political and religious lightning rod, going through his days hearing stuff said about him, it makes me want to shield him from that. It makes me so angry I nearly tremble.

And quite frankly I've been trembling enough already.