It is the fourth night of Hannukah. It is also Shabos. By five-thirty, when the sun is going down, the little altar is full of going light. What does it mean? As the semester ends and I look back on everything I've come through, and all that I know I will face in the year to come? So many thoughts in my head. So many feelings. The surprise at seeing Adam Rector again. Surprise! Surprise! From my driver's ed class, all grown up and sporty, and it turns out he is the son of one my classmates. The surprise that after years of being broke I have money and a bank account and at least for a little while won't have to worry about poverty. So many changes, so many things we have spiraled through. We, yes, I was never alone. Today at Mass I look around. This is what I always wanted. God has given me what I always wanted. Could it really have been a year ago I wasn't part of Saint James's, that I was turning my back on a part of my life that I didn't want, that didn't want me.
As the candles burn this is all on my mind. This, and so much more.
What do these nights mean as the wax melts down?
Light increasing, my God, light increasing.
Friday, December 10, 2004
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2 comments:
I'm pleased for you that you have some positives in your life right now. I'm looking for my own! There's lots to face next year, but I know you can do it with strength.
I am full of hope for the both of ua. I know so much will happen for you, and I'm not just saying that. The next year will be WONDERFUL !
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